Life’s hard

This morning was the worst of them all πŸ™ I had to get up at 8:30 to go to Sunday school. but, this morning I woke up to my parents crying, I was getting dressed and then my dad comes in my room and says “come on let’s go, family meeting” I hate hearing those words….After they told us what was happening I was crying so much, I turned over and looked at my sister and she was just sitting there not knowing what was going on. She is to young to understand anything. I looked over at my brother and he wasn’t doing anything, My brother understands more than both of us, but, he doesn’t show his feelings. I feel like I’m the only one that is feeling the pain. My whole world is crashing down on top of me. I knew exactly where this was going to go. I’m so confused on why this had to happen to my family. We used to be so perfect. Things change in a blink of an eye. When my mom came back home, for once I actually felt like a normal child with a normal family. That didn’t really last long at all. I hope my mom doesn’t go back with Walter though. I hate feeling like this, it hurts. I really wish that this never happened to us, it really affects my mood. It affects me as a person. I really don’t want to worry about this stuff this year. I’m still trying my hardest to keep my grades balanced! There is a lot on my mind and it is really hard for me to think and concentrate. I have a really big heart, I’m also a very emotional person. So, when this stuff happens, I cry for HOURS. But, I’m only human, I can’t help it. I’m trying my hardest not to cry in front of people because then they will ask what happened, and I really don’t want to go into detail. I guess I’m going back to crying my self to sleep every night again πŸ™Β  When my friends tell me they are depressed, I never knew how or what to say to them because I never knew what being depressed felt like. I guess I can’t say that either…. I’m just hoping this feeling doesn’t stay with me forever. Because it is ruining me.