Happy Birthday to you and I

Hey grandma.. This is the 6th birthday that we’ve been apart and haven’t been able to spend it together. I still remember what it was like, sitting on your lap, having to blow out the candles for you because you didn’t have the lungs to do it. That’s how small I was, I was able to sit on your lap… I was 10? Or, you’d let me sit in your chair, and you’d stand behind me and play with my hair, whip my “piggy tails” back and forth.  Every time I go to pops’ house, I still claim that chair. Every time. And, I don’t know, this just stuck, but sometimes I’ll ask “can we go to grandmas house?”. Whenever we go, I always sit at the kitchen table and talk to pops about you. He really misses you, just like the rest of us. And it’s so hard to talk about you without it being a tear to someone’s eye. I miss your voice so much, and I really don’t have many videos of you talking. Just pictures. It kinda sucks. I really miss your voice. The only video I have is from our last birthday together. And you were singing happy birthday to me, I heard your voice over any body else’s voice, and I’m glad. I listen to that a lot. Especially when I’m upset. This might sound real sappy, but whenever something happens, and I get really upset, I’ll cry, and I’ll talk to you, and would wish that you were still here, to talk to me and give me advice about things. Like two weeks before you passed? You asked me if I could spend the night with you. And I said I would, and we never got that chance. I’m just really happy I got the chance to tell you how much I loved you one last time before you walked through the gates of heaven. Most people don’t get that chance, but I did. And I’m so thankful. You were an amazing person. You had this amazing personality, that ANYONE could fall in love with, even just by hearing about you, and the things you did for everyone. You always put others before yourself, especially your family. Even though you were sick, and you knew you should have been worrying more about yourself, but you weren’t, you still cared more about everybody else, and then put yourself last. I looked up to you, and I still do. I want to be more like you some day. You really had an impact on my life, a big one. You were my role model. And I am so grateful that I got to have a grandmother like YOU in my life growing up. That was a blessing, you’re a blessing. To everyone who knew you. Anyways.. this is really long, but I miss you so much grandma.. and I hope this birthday is just as amazing as the last one. I love you so much. Happy birthday!