My insomnia is back. Ever since my grandfather passed away (3 months ago today), I’ve been having nightmares when I sleep about him dying in front of me. Him having a seizure, falling and busting his head open, to ANYTHING that involves him coming close to death, or actually dying in my dream and me trying to save him. I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve become scared to fall asleep at night. I stay up until 5:30 and fall asleep, and wake up at 9, and then I just lay in bed until 11 or whenever I have to get up. I’m exhausted and drained. I just want to SLEEP without worrying about having a nightmare about my grandfather.  It sucks, it really does. Because sleep used to be a copying mechanism for me whenever I was going through a hard time, when I was stressed or needed a break. I’d sleep and feel better. I can’t do that anymore. I’m not sure if this tells you what time I posted. But it’s currently 3:40 AM, and I’m laying in bed, soooo tired out of my mind but my body and mind just won’t let me sleep because I know what will happen. I just wish everything was still normal, I wish my grandfather was here </3